How To Speak Canadian

So there was a catchy television ad a few years ago for Foster's Beer. The tagline was, "Foster's. Australian for be-ah." I have no idea if that ad is still running, but I remember it! I think they had another one that simply had the words, "How To Speak Australian" typeset over a video of someone drinking Foster's.

Anyway - I've noticed since moving north of the border that although we all speak English, the Canadians say some things a little differently. The first one I noticed was the absence of articles. So, if you're in a car accident back home, the paper would report that "the victims were transported to THE hospital by ambulance." Here, the report reads, "the victims were transported to hospital." What the what? You're missing an important word there, y'all!

Also, I've heard this one more frequently than I've seen it in print. However, it's there! When you finish a task, how do you tell someone that you're done? I would have said, "I'm all finished WITH my Christmas shopping." Or, "I'm all done Christmas shopping." Not here. You'll need to learn this phrasing: "I'm done my shopping." Or, "Are you done your dinner?"

Another biggie is the substitution of "for" for "at". Especially in reference to time. So - let's say I'm going to meet up with some girlfriends for dinner at a restaurant downtown. One who is native to Ontario would say to me, "Okay, we're doing dinner for seven." I'm sorry? I thought there were only five of us coming, who are the two add-ons? "Just five of us, for seven o'clock." Oh. Is that confusing to anyone else? And it's not just for dinner time. "Let's shoot for the library for nine." I don't know what that means!

If that isn't confusing enough, let's say that The Bay (Hudson Bay Co.) is having a sale this weekend. Down in North Carolina, we would have said, "Hey, y'all! Did you know that The Bay is having a huge sale this weekend? The whole store is on sale with super markdowns!" Up here, I hear: "Blythe. Did you know that The Bay has a sale on?" After pausing a minute to wait for the rest, Me: "No, I didn't! A sale on what?". Them: "Pardon? The Bay has a sale on. You know? The whole store is cheaper."

Here's proof! I took this shot today while out killing time at the mall.

And if there's been a markdown on a specific item, let's say socks? A native would say, "The socks are on for 20%." WTH, y'all! I seriously need some Rosetta Stone for Canadian!!