We found our sweet boy again!

I originally wrote this post in 2013. . . found it in "drafts" and realized it's an important part of our history, so it's time I share! I can update to say that I wasn't lying when I said gluten free pasta is good. It was only good. Not great, nor awesome, nor anything I want to eat again. Maybe GF foods have come a long way in the 7 years since we tried them. I hope so . . . for the sake of people who HAVE to eat them. We are no longer doing a GF diet - although his wheat intake is reduced in general.

Recently (for clarity's purpose, let's say for the last six to eight months), we have been having some difficulty managing Bennett's behavior. We noticed an uptick in his aggressive behaviors and language, especially toward me, his mom. Things like, "I will HURT you!" or "I don't want you to be my mama anymore!" were his common responses to being told "no" or being asked to do something, no matter how routine. He had also become expert at throwing things toward me.

We had tried all kinds of methods to improve his behavior: extra attention from me (exhausting!), less attention from me (heart-breaking as it caused MORE tears and sadness), a sticker chart (he earned a bubble blower and a Pez, but no long term improvements), and even a tiny bit of corporal punishment (his response: "That doesn't even hurt!"). None of our attempts worked!

Now, I should back up a bit and tell you that thirty years ago, Brian's younger brother experienced similar behavior challenges. After several months of similar attempts to corral him, it was determined that he had an allergy to caramel color and malted grains. We knew all of this because 1) Brian lived with it. The memories are seared on his brain! and 2) Brian's mother would frequently regale us with stories of Trevor's childhood. So - we kind of half-heartedly tried to avoid things that we KNEW had caramel color. I say half-hearted because it didn't seem like our attempts were getting any results, so we didn't try really hard, which meant we weren't getting results, of course.

One month ago - I decided that I had to be vigilant. I cut out all red dye, all caramel color and malted grains. I took alternate snacks to school so that Bennett could still eat crackers, but not the Ritz that they serve. We talked about other options as well. We realized that he was having fits after drinking ginger ale and root beer (not together, gross!), so we were fortified in our efforts to eliminate those sources of the fire! 

Then, a week ago, we had a second meeting with a family counselor. (Yes, we had decided that we were to the point that we could no longer do this alone. I was about to start pulling my hair or start drinking.) This time we took Bennett with us. As a special treat to fill time between school pick up and our 1:00 meeting, I took Bennett to Wendy's for lunch. He had chicken nuggets and orange juice. When we got to the appointment, he started bouncing off the walls. He jumped and danced and stomped and sang praises to the tops of mountains for a solid 45 minutes. After a few minutes, when we were explaining that we'd been trying to change his diet, our counselor asked if we'd considered eliminating Gluten. Seriously? You've got to be kidding. A mental health professional was suggesting that we follow a fad diet to help our kid behave. I almost started to tune her out. 

However, she clarified that there have been reports of kids with behavioral challenges demonstrating a decrease in those behaviors when they begin a gluten-free diet. They sleep better, they communicate more clearly, it even appears as if a fog is lifted from around them. I had my doubts, but honestly, I'm willing to give anything a try at this point.

So we did it - we cut out the gluten. I went to the grocery store that afternoon with Bennett and we had fun exploring the Gluten-Free section of our local big box grocery store to see what we could substitute in our daily eating. We found a lot more than I imagined would be available! Of course, it was/is a tad more expensive than we were used to, but Brian reminded me that we'll be saving a lot by not going out on the weekends (our go-to lunch spots with B were Subway - they don't do GF by the way - and Tim Horton's whose only GF option is a coconut macaroon, or maybe the yogurt parfaits which Bennett really likes.) so I shouldn't get too worried by the sticker shock at the grocery store.

I will write more in another post about what we're eating, but I'm pleased to report that Gluten Free pasta is actually quite good. I made GF peanut butter cookie treats for a cookie exchange later this week and they are divine! We've also found very tasty pretzels and it turns out that Bennett is a HUGE fan of rice cakes. I'm starting to think that we'll all feel better after adopting these habits.

p.s. The best side effect so far is improved sleep! Bennett was in the habit of waking at least twice a night and coming in to our room on the second waking (usually between 1 and 3). He'd stay in our bed until the morning, which he thought was 6:00, but he was super fidgety the entire time. For the last two nights, he's slept until at least 7:15, with only one mid-night waking for a bathroom break. And last night, he stayed in his own bed the entire night! HALLELUJAH!!! When baby sleeps well, mama sleeps well and that helps daddy sleep well. Adios, Gluten!!!